Hitting "share" on a post announcing my pregnancy felt so daunting - exciting, but daunting. Since October, Nico and I have cherished the little bubble we built for ourselves where we could be excited/happy and scared/nervous in private. But I'm a terrible secret keeper, so I took a sigh of relief knowing I could live and share my life, like I'm used to doing. I have missed so many things about connecting with you all on social media. Sharing OOTDs were quickly out, as was putting my face on camera during the roughest weeks. It feels great to be back into the swing of things!
We are so grateful for the love and support as we navigate this journey into parenthood - we're on our way! Your messages mean the world, and lifted me up more than I imagined. I thought it best to use this format to share some thoughts and answer questions so my page isn't all pregnancy, all the time. I understand that it's not for everyone, and totally know the feeling, more below.... So here we are, let's go through the messages I got in my DMs.
How did you tell Nico?
Nico was with me when I took the test! We first took a test with the 2 lines and we weren’t exactly sure if we could see the positive line. *squinting really hard* Then I took one with the words, but Nico left the room to make coffee because I told him it was probably negative. I have a video of this whole interaction and Nico's confusion when I screamed after seeing the word "pregnant."
When did you find out?
Early October! It was such a busy time for us with travel/work/events. But behind all of the busy times, there were lot of times just sitting on the couch and saying “Whoa. I can’t believe we’re going to be parents.”
Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?
We do. Stay tuned… oddly enough, just about every old wives’ tale checks out for us! The Chinese gender calendar, heart rate, the ring test, etc. all correct!
How are you feeling?
Currently - I feel great!
But all I can say about early pregnancy is…
L O L — what a wild ride. All the typical pregnancy symptoms hit me at 6 weeks exactly. (I was pretty certain I wouldn't have morning sickness, again LOL) I was nauseous all day, every day and had crazy food aversions. Working from home was a blessing - I could stay in pajamas and slowly sip a seltzer in peace if it was a bad day. Things that helped me were: protein as soon as I woke up (collagen in my coffee), a little movement, and Jolly Ranchers. I can’t explain it but they helped with nausea. Don’t talk to me about ginger candies, terrible.
What’s your due date?
June 2023 (we’re more than halfway there!)
How did you tell your families?
Christmas was the perfect time, because I was 16 weeks and we were able to tell them in person. Everyone was VERY surprised. My parents had the exact reaction I thought they would! (I have a video of this, too!)
Do you have a name picked out?
Definitely - it’s the only name we ever considered. Once you know, you know.
Will you start sharing mom content?
Definitely, but it won't be exclusive. I still want to share my adventures in Fort Lauderdale! Because this page is about my life, sharing about pregnancy is unavoidable.
But two things... I’m very nervous about unsolicited mom advice from internet strangers. We all do our best. So far, I've been so surprised at how kind everyone in the motherhood community has been! So I'll share and if I ever feel that I'm finding the space to be judgmental, I’ll rethink it. It’s not super clear to me yet how I’ll incorporate our baby into the career I’ve chosen. They didn’t ask for constant exposure so I don't want to share too much of someone else’s life.
Additionally, if this new kind of content I'm sharing doesn't add value to your life, for any reason, I understand. I respect anyone that needs to take a break. I've done it too.
What was something you didn’t expect in this process?
I wasn't expecting to be so severely affected by pregnancy and I say this with utmost appreciation for all my body is accomplishing. I’m a “power through” and "get up and go" type of person, Nico likes to call me "hearty" (in the most endearing way. Ha!) Not much slows me down or grosses me out. But weeks 6-11, were something else.
As someone who takes great pride in a organized, clean apartment and a smooth running household, I was surprised and how hard all of it seemed. I took multiple naps a day, planned cereal for dinner and never changed out of pajamas. If you know me, this isn't my norm. At exactly 12 weeks, a overnight switch, and I was back to my normal self and Nico is very grateful for his clean laundry these days!
I also didn't expect to change everything about my eating habits. I've transitioned from "coffee for breakfast" pre-pregnancy to 2 complete breakfasts. I have a crazy sense of smell and when coupled with food aversions, leads to some terrible ideas - like throwing away everything in the fridge. Oops.
I also never knew how quickly certain body parts would start to grow (IYKYK) but Aquaphor spray is great for dry skin that keeps stretching and stretching!
What’s something you wish someone would have told you?
Be very mindful of the content you ingest. I was finding FB groups and Reddit threads to be extreme, sad, or horrific. It's harder to find the boring and normal stories but normal pregnancies and births DO happen. It doesn’t need to be dramatic and statistically it won’t be. Of course, it’s good to be prepared for anything but it’s also okay to prepare yourself for a smooth normal pregnancy and birth. In the beginning I was so worried about losing the pregnancy. But found a few mantras helpful, and read them daily:
I am still pregnant unless my doctor tells me otherwise.
Everything will be fine as the statistics suggest.
My body is made for this.
As each day passes, I am one day closer to meeting my baby.
The odds are in my favor.
What are your cravings?
FRUIT. Açaí bowls. Fresh fruit. Frozen fruit. Canned fruit. Fruit juice. Entire pints of strawberries. Strawberry lemonade. Jolly ranchers. Anything fruity. Everyday. Every meal. Lol. ALSO, I BOUGHT A JUICER FOR THIS PURPOSE. lol.
This is not my usual, I like salty and savory. I always thought pregnancy cravings would be fun. What no one told me was that I would “crave” something because it’s the only thing that didn’t make me want to throw up. I couldn’t even think about tomatoes or potato chips - 2 of my favorite things! I still can't eat a lot of fried foods, it makes me feel terrible. I miss French fries and ranch dressing.
Have you started shopping / a registry?
Of course! I took advantage of Black Friday sales for a Snoo, the Uppa Baby Vista Stroller + Mesa Car Seat, a diaper bag, some clothes and a few other small things. I’ve found a few online boutiques I really love: Kate Quinn, Posh Peanut and Primary.com
I did start a registry; I found it to be really fun to research products and pick things out! I used Amazon and Babylist! Both were very easy to use, and Babylist lets you add items from anywhere, rather than just one store.
I remember early pregnancy being lonely. Sending love.
Oof, this is so true. I was constantly sick and couldn’t really tell anyone. I shared with a few people who were part of my day to day and were likely to notice that I didn’t text back very quickly, or always turned down invites, etc. so that was helpful. But I found that journaling was really comforting . And, of course, I have Nico. He never tired of the hourly reports of how I was feeling.
Also, to help with journaling, I found an app called Qeepsake that texts daily prompts and questions about pregnancy. It stores responses and creates a memory book. You can include photos too! It’s a really sweet way to write down in-the-moment memories like first ultrasound.
Other Questions :)
Was this a surprise to you guys? Umm... this is an interesting question. I'm too type A for surprises.
What OB do you see in FTL? Not sure I can comfortably share this info with just anyone, but always DM me and I will help you!
Will you be sharing your TTC journey? TTC = trying to conceive, FYI. I think the best thing I can do is have a listening ear if anyone wants to talk. I don’t have much to add to the conversation of TTC and there are other people who have great resources on the topic. However, I do know that seeing a pregnancy announcement on social media isn’t always a happy occasion. I’ve been thrown into a funk when scrolling for that exact reason. And sometimes it would affect me most when I wasn’t trying to get pregnant. Feelings of sadness, loneliness or jealousy coupled with happiness are all normal and I felt them all. I really wish I could be more helpful, infertility is incredibly lonely and people don’t talk candidly about it. With that being said, if you need to take a break from my page and what I share, I 100% understand.
XO, Shelly